Veronique,

Please do not show up on Saturday. This is not the way to get back into Brigitte's life. If you embarish her on Saturday, this will further deminish any chance of ever being a part of her life. Brigitte has grown into a wonderful person whose feelings you seem to not care about. You have been gone from her life for over six years. If you really want a chance with her you must start communicating with me and only me without hostility or anger. I will not allow you into her life unless you seek and continue for a sustained period of time certified physicological counseling and medication.

Furthermore, you are not allowed into Belmont. If I find you inside the gates I will have you arrested for tresspassing. These words should sound familiar as these are the last words you said to me the last time you saw Brigitte at your home July 4th weekend of 2004. You said to me "You and Brigitte are never allowed on my property ever again and if you do it will be tresspassing". You should remember this, I have. Up until that time I made every attempt to insure that Brigitte got to see you during your scheduled visitation. You were a no show on many occasions and several times I brought Brigitte to your home. I do not know what took place that holiday weekend during your visitation with Brigitte, but you must understand that Brigitte has never asked to come back to your home since that weekend. If she had, I would have brought her. Unless you take serious what I have said above your chances to have a normal relationship with Brigitte will not happen.

You have defamed and libeled my wife and I in public for several years now. Please stop. Do not send emails to Lisa's employer, my employer, my employers associates or anyone else connected to me or my wife. Any further defamation will cause me to take action. Please remove Lisa's name and my name from your blog. Your linkage to Shivani's Face Book must also be removed. Your public posting of Brigitte's picture without asking her did not sit well with her or her friends.

There's a good chance this email will only enrage you. It is my hope that it does not. It is my hope that you take what I have said above very seriously and seek help.

Sincerely,

Troy

__________
Posted by Veronique Wyvell
Survivor of Judicial Rape
Fairfax County, Virginia

...this fall and every fall
_____


[This post was originally published on 15 September 2009]

My ex-husband grew up in a household of 3 sons and a father, who resolved disputes with physical violence, they "slapped each other around".

The subservient mother went to work as a seamstress in a factory, came home and cooked and cleaned. She is now 80 years old, and she still is the maid for her sons, making their beds, cooking their meals, mopping their floors.

My ex- husband was always abusive but I didn't notice what was happening to me, it seemed hat he always had some excuse, and always blamed me. He was arrested in 2004.

Since 2004 he has not hired child care for our 3 children as he didn't want to spend the money. The children, mostly the girls, were left alone in parking lots in his car when he shopped or when my son had athletic activities. He took the keys with him, so in the summer the car would be unbearably hot, in the winter, very cold.

In December of 2006 he took the kids on a skiing vacation and left them alone. My children don't know how to ski. Alexandra then 8 mistakenly got on the wrong ski lift, one that left her atop of a black diamond ski slope. It was a slope for advanced skiers. She managed to make her way down without getting seriously hurt thank-goodness, but when she fell her father skied by and called her a cry-baby. He refused to help her get up.

During an outing in West Virginia in the summer of 2009 she was in a canoe with him; she was in the front and he was behind. She made some benign remark, but the father interpreted it as a sign of disrespect, and he beat her over the head with the paddle. She told me that it was "okay" because she was wearing a helmet. I told this to the court and the court ignored it.

In July of 2009 there was to be a hearing in Fairfax County Circuit Court. For the first time in 6 years of litigation, I was ill and could not appear in court. I called judges chambers in advance to let them know. The father appeared in court with a paid "expert witness" by the name of Guy Van Syckle who testified that I didn’t show up because I was mentally ill. My medical condition is well documented at Fairfax Inova Hospital, and my physical illness was real. As I didn’t have anybody in court that day to represent me, the court ordered that deputies come to my home to forcibly remove my children. All because I was sick one day out of 6 years.

I was in bed when the deputies came, and devastated when they took my children and searched my home.

The father put the two girls with his mother, who speaks broken English and does not drive. My son was put with his friends in Bethesda, and the father went to New York City. My home was empty, my children gone. I scrambled furiously to find a forensic psychologist to testify, and the next week I got my custody restored, but not before the children and I had been put thru Hell.

This is just a small part of this case, but do you have any advice?

Thank-you.

3.19.10

Confront Your Judge

ATTEND JUDICIAL INTERVIEWS
whether your offending judge is up for reappointment or not.

“Each time that I appeared in court, the system reinforced his dominance over me by preserving his parental ‘rights’ without regard to my safety. I felt totally undermined by the court.” -PW in Justice Denied

[ Chesler, 1991, 1986 ] MOTHERS ON TRIAL: THE BATTLE FOR CHILDREN AND CUSTODY. The book. Mothers were not rescued from individually violent men by policemen, social workers, lawyers, or other family members. Judges did not rescue mothers from violent men either. On the contrary, the (large number of) domestically violent fathers, including those who kidnapped their children, were not imprisoned, fined, or custodially punished. Of the 12 percent of the mothers who kidnapped their children (Table Two), 80 percent were imprisoned, fined, or custodially punished ... Sixty-two percent of the fathers used violence to win custody. They physically battered, psychologically terrorized, and physically ejected mothers from their homes; they kidnapped, and, with the help of mother competitors, brainwashed children ...

[ Ducote, 1992 ] POST-SEPARATION FAMILY VIOLENCE RELIEF ACT. The legislation. The legislature further finds that the problems of family violence do not necessarily cease when the victimized family is legally separated or divorced. In fact, the violence often escalates, and child custody and visitation become the new forum for the continuation of the abuse. Because current laws relative to child custody and visitation are based on an assumption that even divorcing parents are in relatively equal positions of power, and that such parents act in the children’s best interest, these laws often work against the protection of the children and the abused spouse in families with a history of family violence. Consequently, laws designed to act in the children’s best interest may actually effect a contrary result due to the unique dynamics of family violence ...

[ American Judges Association, 1996 ] DOMESTIC VIOLENCE & THE COURTROOM. The article. Studies show that batterers have been able to convince authorities that the victim is unfit or undeserving of sole custody in approximately 70% of challenged cases ...

[ United States Congress, 1997 ] SAFE HAVENS FOR CHILDREN ACT OF 1997 - FINDINGS. The bill.
(1) Family violence does not necessarily cease when family victims are legally separated by divorce or otherwise not sharing a household.
(2) According to a 1996 report by the American Psychological Association, custody and visitation disputes are more frequent when there is a history of domestic violence.
(3) Family violence often escalates following separation and divorce, and child custody and visitation arrangements become the new forum for the continuation of abuse.
(4) According to a 1996 report by the American Psychological Association, fathers who batter mothers are twice as likely [as non-violent men] to seek sole custody of their children. In these circumstances, if the abusive father loses custody he is more likely to continue the threats to the mother through other legal actions.
(5) Some perpetrators of violence use the children as pawns to control the abused party and to commit more violence during separation or divorce. In one study, 34 percent of women in shelters and callers to hotlines reported threats of kidnapping, 11 percent reported that the batterer had kidnapped the child for some period, and 21 percent reported that threats of kidnapping forced the victim to return to the batterer.
(6) Approximately 90 percent of children in homes in which their mothers are abused witness the abuse. Children who witness domestic violence may themselves become victims and exhibit more aggressive, antisocial, fearful, and inhibited behaviors. Such children display more anxiety, aggression and temperamental problems.
(7) Women and children are at an elevated risk of violence during the process of separation or divorce.
(8) Fifty to 70 percent of men who abuse their spouses or partners also abuse their children.
(9) Up to 75 percent of all domestic assaults reported to law enforcement agencies were inflicted after the separation of the couple.
(10) In one study of spousal homicide, over 1/2 of the male defendants were separated from their victims.
(11) Seventy-three percent of battered women seeking emergency medical services do so after separation ...

[ Supreme Court of Virginia, 2000 ] GENDER BIAS IN THE COURTS OF THE COMMONWEALTH OF VIRGINIA. The study. [There is also a]n apparent lack of recognition by judges in both Juvenile & Domestic Relations court and in Circuit Court of ... (ii) the abuser’s use of legal processes to continue to manipulate and control the family. In fact, many abusers appear to be manipulating the court. In such cases, it is not sufficient to look only at the context painted by the abuser; it is necessary to view the proceeding currently before the court in the light of the other proceedings involving the parties (e.g., where the abuser constantly sues the victim, harasses her attorney and others who help her, threatens witnesses, or uses child visitation, custody and support issues as an excuse to bring the family back into court many times a year.) ...

[ Silverman, 2001 ] AMERICAN PUBLIC HEALTH ASSOCIATION - THE IMPACT OF FAMILY COURTS ON BATTERED WOMEN AND THEIR CHILDREN IN CASES OF DISPUTED CHILD CUSTODY AND VISITATION: PRELIMINARY FINDINGS OF THE BATTERED MOTHERS’ TESTIMONY PROJECT. The paper. Family courts are frequently reported to promote the endangerment of battered mothers and their children through awarding child custody or unsupervised child visitation to batterers, even in cases involving batterers’ continuing abuse of the mother, and/or outstanding allegations of child abuse involving these men. Previous analyses of court records have documented biases against battered women by the Massachusetts Family and Probate Court in such cases. This systemic mistreatment of battered women and their children has received little attention relative to other DV issues, despite an expanding literature describing the risks to children from battering men. This presentation will review the goals and methodology of the Battered Mothers’ Testimony Project, a collaboration of public health researchers, battered women’s advocates and human rights workers to examine the impact of family court systems on the health, safety and well-being of battered women and their children in cases of disputed custody/visitation. Preliminary findings from semi-structured interviews with 50 battered mothers regarding (1) experiences of abuse against themselves and their children, both during the relationship and since separation; (2) whether and how the batterer has continued to intimidate/abuse her through family court litigation; (3) experiences with state actors of the family court system (e.g., judges, custody evaluators); and (4) other concerns regarding their treatment within the family court system (e.g., discrimination based on race, sexual orientation, and/or socioeconomic status) will be presented. Plans for dissemination of information, organizing and activism to reform state policies and practices based on these findings will also be discussed ...

[ Supreme Court of Virginia, 2001 ] INFLUENCES ON JUDGES’ DECISIONS IN CHILD CUSTODY DISPUTES IN THE COMMONWEALTH OF VIRGINIA. The study. “Pages 4, 6, 7, 20, 21, 23, 24, 29, 30, 38, 39, 40, 41, 53, 55, and 57 of this Supreme Court of Virginia 2001 study are especially relevant to the current trend of awarding custody of children to fathers who are abusive, violent, and dangerously controlling men, narcissists, and sociopaths …” -VW

[ Bancroft, 2002 ] THE BATTERER AS PARENT: ADDRESSING THE IMPACT OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ON FAMILY DYNAMICS (CHAPTER FIVE). Impeding Recovery: The Batterer in Custody and Visitation. The book. Batterers win custody of their children with greater frequency [than] is generally realized. Although it is widely believed that family courts have a bias in favor of mothers, custody studies have demonstrated that since the 1970's, fathers have been at a marked advantage in custody disputes. There is a general reluctance among family courts in the U.S. and abroad to consider a man's battering as a reflection on his parenting or a factor in determining custody ...

[ BMTP, 2004 ] BATTERED MOTHERS’ TESTIMONY PROJECT - Researchers Say Massachusetts Family Courts Fail to Protect Battered Women and Their Children; Study Applies Human Rights Analysis to Child Custody Cases Involving Domestic Violence. The project. “Battered mothers face a perilous irony,” said Silverman. “Authorities push these women to leave abusive men in order to protect their children. But women who can make this break then face family courts, another authority that often ignores this history of abuse as a threat to children’s safety and, perversely, concludes that women’s attempts to protect their children from these men actually demonstrate their own lack of fitness as mothers” ...

[ Jaffe, 2005 ] JUDICIAL COUNCIL OF CALIFORNIA CENTER FOR FAMILIES, CHILDREN & THE COURTS - PARENTING ARRANGEMENTS AFTER DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: SAFETY AS A PRIORITY IN JUDGING CHILDREN’S BEST INTEREST. The article. Perpetrators [of domestic violence] may use perpetual litigation as a form of ongoing control and harassment. The family court can inadvertently become a tool for batterers to continue their abusive behavior. Litigation exacts a high emotional and financial price for abused women already overwhelmed with the aftermath of a violent relationship ... Indicators that this misuse is occurring include an investment in custody and/or access that is out of keeping with a parent's previous involvement in child rearing ...

[ Kiewra, 2005 ] HARVARD SCHOOL OF PUBLIC HEALTH - HARVARD PUBLIC HEALTH REVIEW: MISCARRIAGE OF JUSTICE. The article. The 40 women came from towns across Massachusetts and from all walks of life, yet their stories were the same -- shocking tales of battering and harassment at the hands of abusive ex-partners. Long after separation or divorce, the women said, their torment continued, aided and abetted by judges who gave unsupervised visitation and custody of their children to violent & controlling men …

[ Legal Momentum, 2005 ] LEGAL MOMENTUM ADVANCING WOMEN’S RIGHTS - DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND CHILD CUSTODY. The kit. In no other area of family law are battered women and their children inadvertently subjected to greater physical and emotional harm than in the child custody and visitation context. Battered women are often forced to participate in custody arrangements that require mediation, unsupervised custody and visitation, and other types of exchanges that leave them and their children vulnerable to continued abuse and control at the hands of their batterers. Women who try to protect themselves and their children by seeking sole custody or modifications in custody arrangements such as cessation of visitation, supervised visits, or who flee with their children are penalized by having custody taken away and given to their batterers. Despite the perception that mothers always win custody, when fathers contest custody, they win sole or joint custody in 40% to 70% of the cases. Indeed, even in cases where abuse is reported, a batterer is twice as likely to win custody over a non-abusive parent than in cases where no abuse is reported …

[ Neustein & Lesher, 2005 ] FROM MADNESS TO MUTINY: WHY MOTHERS ARE RUNNING FROM THE FAMILY COURTS--AND WHAT CAN BE DONE ABOUT IT. The book. "A groundbreaking new book that is perhaps the most highly readable scholarly work I’ve encountered in my 14 years in academia ... The very first to provide the historical and contextual chronology of this system’s steady decline into chaos and corruption over the past two decades. It is eminently accurate and rigorously documented -- a book that will hit scholars, professionals, and lay persons right between their eyes. This is the book that mothers have been waiting for ..." -Dr. "Mo" Hannah

[ PBS, 2005 ] PUBLIC BROADCASTING SERVICE - BREAKING THE SILENCE: CHILDREN'S STORIES. The documentary. One of the most effective ways an abusive father can inflict pain and declare his domination is to take custody of his children away from their mother. As Joan Meier, an attorney and professor of clinical law, explains, “To win custody of the kids over and against the mother’s will is the ultimate victory ... short of killing the kids.” While there may be a perception in society that the family court system has a maternal preference, statistics show that, in the past twenty years, fathers are more often being awarded custody. Furthermore, in family court cases where mothers allege battery, fathers are given custody two-thirds of the time ...

[ Griffin, 2006 ] PROTECTIVE PARENT REFORM ACT (Conceived and Drafted by Richard Ducote, Esq.). The legislation. In the state of Maryland, courts have committed grave errors in cases in which molested children have sought protection from an abusive parent. By failing to follow basic rules of procedure and evidence – in essence, by failing to follow due process of law – these courts have often ignored compelling evidence of abuse and – conversely – have allowed hearsay and other inadmissible evidence presented by children’s attorneys, custody evaluators, mental health professionals, mediators, screeners, and other such persons traditionally participating in child custody and visitation cases to guide the court in their custody and visitation rulings. In so doing, courts have too often inadvertently and tragically placed children in the hands of their molesters. Thus, reform is required in the state of Maryland, by way of the Protective Parent Reform Act (“PPRA”). This act is meant to ensure that a parent who reasonably believes that his or her child is threatened by child abuse perpetrated or allowed by the other parent is not punished by a Maryland court, or penalized by loss of custody, or limitation of contact or visitation ...

[ Hannah, 2007 ] FOURTH BATTERED MOTHERS CUSTODY CONFERENCE - TRUTH COMMISSION FINDINGS AND SOLUTIONS. The report. [T]here is a widespread problem of abusive parents being granted custody of children and protective parents, [primarily mothers], having their custody limited or denied, and/or being otherwise punished ... [O]nce abusers gain custody, they then isolate and estrange the children from the protective parents. Courts seldom punish the abusers or switch custody back to the protective parents ... The court system has failed to respond appropriately to domestic violence and child abuse cases involving custody. The Commission found many common errors made by the courts and the professionals they rely upon which contribute to these tragedies ... Sanctions against abusers and the courts must be used to prevent abusers from using legal tactics to continue their abuse through the courts ...

[ Saunders & Oehme, 2007 ] VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN - CHILD CUSTODY AND VISITATION DECISIONS IN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CASES: LEGAL TRENDS, RISK FACTORS, AND SAFETY CONCERNS. The article. It may be hard to believe that an abusive partner can ever make good on his threat to gain custody of the children from his victim. After all, he has a history of violent behavior and she almost never does. Unfortunately, a surprising number of battered women lose custody of their children (e.g., Saccuzzo & Johnson, 2004). This document describes how this can happen through uninformed and biased courts, court staff, evaluators, and attorneys and how the very act of protecting ones' children can lead to their loss ...

[ Bowen, 2008 / also Ruiz, 2008 ] VOICES OF WOMEN ORGANIZING PROJECT - REPORT: ABUSED WOMEN SEE DANGER IN FAMILY COURT. The articles. Susan Lob says it's simple: Good mothers should keep their children. But Lob, director of the New York-based Voices of Women Organizing Project, says that doesn't always happen in the New York family court system when it's women who have been abused by their children's fathers. Instead, in a report released today, Voices of Women says family courts retraumatize battered women by forcing them to confront men they fear and granting custody to abusers 37 percent of the time despite the women's roles as primary caregivers. "What struck us was the impossibility of women losing custody to the men who abused them," said Lob. "That just seemed unbelievable." The group laid out four recommendations … Authors issued specific suggestions for each of the four recommendations, including increasing accountability for judges by halving 10-year judicial appointments to five-year terms and seeing children in courtrooms at least once a year to ensure custody decisions are benefiting them …

[ Meier, 2008 ] THE WASHINGTON POST - WHY THIS MOTHER WAS NOT HEARD. The editorial. Contrary to stereotypes, most divorcing mothers do not seek to deprive the children of their father. Most settle out of court. Only about 20 percent of cases become "contested custody litigation." It's not surprising that a large proportion of these "bitter custody disputes" involve violent or abusive fathers. It is time courts faced the truth: Custody litigants frequently have a history of abuse. Men who abuse their partners often pose a threat to their children. Most women seeking to restrict fathers' access to their children are doing so out of legitimate fear for their well-being. And too many children are delivered to dangerous fathers by family courts that prioritize fathers' "rights" over children's safety …

[ NCJFCJ, 2008 ] NATIONAL COUNCIL OF JUVENILE AND FAMILY COURT JUDGES - A JUDICIAL GUIDE TO CHILD SAFETY IN CUSTODY CASES. The bench cards. This tool is designed to maximize a child’s safety as you determine issues of custody and visitation and can help you … This tool will also assist you in conducting a thoughtful exploration of the child’s safety risks when abusive behavior has been part of the family fabric. Sometimes, the parties may not articulate clearly either the abuse or the child’s safety risks during litigation. Indicators may be present that require you to explore the possibility that one parent is putting the other parent or the child at risk of abuse. Because the abused parent might not directly raise issues of physical abuse or other forms of control, you will want to be aware of indicators of abusive behaviors that may alter the dynamics of the litigation process. This tool will explore the various behaviors that you might encounter, both from the controlling and abusive parent, and from the controlled and abused parent. Organization of the Bench Tool: This supplemental guide and the attached bench cards follow your decision-making from the initial filing through drafting and enforcing the order. While much of the material is presented in procedural order, there are also bench cards and chapters devoted to topics and issues that can arise throughout litigation. The authors suggest that you first read the cards as an introduction to the topics addressed. This supplement, to which the cards are keyed, offers additional information and suggests further resources at the end of the guide, and in footnotes ...

[ NOW, 2008 ] NATIONAL ORGANIZATION FOR WOMEN - CRISIS FOR WOMEN IN FAMILY COURT: WHAT TO EXPECT AND HOW TO FIGHT BACK. The brochure. There is a crisis for women and their children in many of the family law courts of this country. Affirmed by experts and skilled court watchers, the existence of this crisis is verified by women in every state who report injustice in their divorce and custody cases. This is true especially for battered mothers trying to protect their children from abusive fathers who aggressively litigate against them, using family courts to stalk, harass, punish, and impoverish their former partners and children. Some fathers are aided by friendly judges and court-appointed personnel …

[ BWJP, 2009 ] BATTERED WOMEN’S JUSTICE PROJECT - DEVELOPMENT OF A FRAMEWORK FOR IDENTIFYING AND EXPLICATING THE CONTEXT OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN CUSTODY CASES AND ITS IMPLICATIONS FOR CUSTODY DETERMINATIONS. The project. BWJP has been invited to apply for a grant from the USDOJ Office on Violence Against Women for a demonstration project to develop a framework to guide custody and visitation decisions in cases involving domestic violence. Research on custody and visitation determinations provide troubling evidence that procedures currently in use in family courts often fail to identify, contextualize and account for the occurrence of domestic violence in these cases, and if identified, its presence seems not to consistently affect the court’s recommendations regarding custody or visitation arrangements … The desired outcome of this project is to provide family courts with a process by which the violence occurring in these families is made visible, its context and the related safety issues are more clearly understood, and as a result, its implications for custody and parenting plan arrangements can be taken into account more effectively to protect the emotional and physical well-being of the litigants and their children. The project will be funded for two years and is scheduled to begin in the summer of 2009 …

[ Bancroft, 2009 ] CHILD CUSTODY JUSTICE. The tutorial. An abused woman can be vulnerable in family court if she comes in with unfounded expectations. Perhaps the most widespread myth is the belief that mothers are favored by courts in custody disputes, which stopped being true decades ago. It is true that for roughly the first half of the 1900's the "Tender Years Doctrine" was influential, and mothers had some advantage in gaining custody of young children. (Prior to about 1900, mothers had no rights regarding custody at all.) But in the 1970's the tide was turning back, for various reasons, and by the 1980's fathers were winning at least joint custody in a majority of the custody battles they undertook, and winning sole custody more often than mothers, a situation that remains today. And the fathers who are taking advantage of this imbalance are largely abusive ones; researchers have found that abusers are twice as likely as non-abusive men to seek custody …

[ Eddy, 2009 ] HIGH CONFLICT INSTITUTE - HANDLING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN NEW WAYS FOR FAMILIES. The institute. Domestic violence is an area of growing concern in family courts, as highlighted by the 2007 Wingspread Conference and Report sponsored by the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC) and National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges (NCJFCJ). Differentiating among at least four different types of domestic violence is recognized as very important, yet in reality the adversarial court process often clouds these issues more than clarifies them … Historically, family law professionals have not recognized the significance of domestic violence risks in some cases and have exaggerated concerns in others. In the process, some partners and children have been seriously injured or killed, while other children have lost a meaningful relationship with one of their parents because of unnecessarily-restrictive parenting orders …

[ Cuccinelli, 2010 ] OFFICE OF THE ATTORNEY GENERAL OF VIRGINIA - CUT OUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: WHY DO VICTIMS STAY? The fact sheet. People often believe that victims of domestic violence will be safe if they just leave the batterer. But a battered person is not free to separate from an abuser at any time and there are many barriers to leaving. The biggest reason that a victim of domestic violence stays in an abusive relationship is fear. Victims believe, and the evidence has shown, that leaving is potentially the most deadly time … Barriers also may include: Fear that the children will be taken away – Batterers threaten that they will take the children (either legally or illegally) if the victim dares to leave the relationship …

[ Hannah & Goldstein, 2010 ] DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, ABUSE, AND CHILD CUSTODY: LEGAL STRATEGIES AND POLICY ISSUES. The collection. “Women trapped in relationships with abusers come to expect horrendous misbehavior from their partners. What they cannot fathom is the maddening reinforcement commonly provided to abusive men by the justice system and the public at large ... That key abuse collaborator is the custody judge. Of all of the actors in a battered woman’s life, none wield more power over her children and financial future. It is beyond infuriating when women discover that their custody judges lack understanding of DV and are colluding with abusers to take away women’s financial resources and, even worse, their children.” -MB ( Available April 2010 but here's a preview )

... My mother is a formerly battered woman who is the first American to receive asylum in Europe. My brother and I were abused children who were failed by ... -Jennifer Collins

Veronique Wyvell, RN
Member, Fairfax County Network Against Family Abuse
Founder, MOMMY GO BYE BYE: Mothers Against Unjust Law
7831 Enola Street, #TA7, McLean, Virginia 22102

MAUL (Mothers Against Unjust Law) Goals:
Rebuttable PRESUMPTIONS Against Custody for Batterers
PPAs (Parenting Plan Agreements) before Litigation
Moratorium on CCEs (Child Custody Evaluations)
MINIMUM Parent-Time Schedules (UTAH Code)
JURY Trials (in Domestic Relations Cases)
PROTECTIVE Parent Reform Acts
DIGITAL Courtroom Records
ALI's Approximation Rule
TERM LIMITS for Judges
_______

A blog made possible by Lisa Deel
MOMMY GO BYE BYE

My ex-husband grew up in a household of 3 sons and a father, who resolved disputes with physical violence, they "slapped each other around".

The subservient mother went to work as a seamstress in a factory, came home and cooked and cleaned. She is now 80 years old, and she still is the maid for her sons, making their beds, cooking their meals, mopping their floors.

My ex- husband was always abusive but I didn't notice what was happening to me, it seemed hat he always had some excuse, and always blamed me. He was arrested in 2004.

Since 2004 he has not hired child care for our 3 children as he didn't want to spend the money. The children, mostly the girls, were left alone in parking lots in his car when he shopped or when my son had athletic activities. He took the keys with him, so in the summer the car would be unbearably hot, in the winter, very cold.

In December of 2006 he took the kids on a skiing vacation and left them alone. My children don't know how to ski. Alexandra then 8 mistakenly got on the wrong ski lift, one that left her atop of a black diamond ski slope. It was a slope for advanced skiers. She managed to make her way down without getting seriously hurt thank-goodness, but when she fell her father skied by and called her a cry-baby. He refused to help her get up.

During an outing in West Virginia in the summer of 2009 she was in a canoe with him; she was in the front and he was behind. She made some benign remark, but the father interpreted it as a sign of disrespect, and he beat her over the head with the paddle. She told me that it was "okay" because she was wearing a helmet. I told this to the court and the court ignored it.

In July of 2009 there was to be a hearing in Fairfax County Circuit Court. For the first time in 6 years of litigation, I was ill and could not appear in court. I called judges chambers in advance to let them know. The father appeared in court with a paid "expert witness" by the name of Guy Van Syckle who testified that I didn’t show up because I was mentally ill. My medical condition is well documented at Fairfax Inova Hospital, and my physical illness was real. As I didn’t have anybody in court that day to represent me, the court ordered that deputies come to my home to forcibly remove my children. All because I was sick one day out of 6 years.

I was in bed when the deputies came, and devastated when they took my children and searched my home.

The father put the two girls with his mother, who speaks broken English and does not drive. My son was put with his friends in Bethesda, and the father went to New York City. My home was empty, my children gone. I scrambled furiously to find a forensic psychologist to testify, and the next week I got my custody restored, but not before the children and I had been put thru Hell.

This is just a small part of this case, but do you have any advice?

Thank-you.

3.19.10

"Confront Your Judge"
Click on seal to learn how

ATTEND JUDICIAL INTERVIEWS
whether your offending judge is up for reappointment or not.

[This post was first published on 22 March 2010]

Arlington J&DR Court reputation in DC of violating human rights of children, mothers lawyer pressing for recall of Chief Judge Wiggins-Lyles told COJ,

And will end only when The People of Virginia
move to take the state legislature out of
the state judge selection process,

ReferendumTime! DUMB, DISGUSTING, DOWNRIGHT DANGEROUS Va. JUDGE RESELECT SYSTEM SHIELDED BY STATE CONSTITUTION} PROPOSING 09 BALLOT QUESTION TO AMEND,

By changing the state constitution to,

Allow the public in.

My ex-husband grew up in a household of 3 sons and a father, who resolved disputes with physical violence, they "slapped each other around".

The subservient mother went to work as a seamstress in a factory, came home and cooked and cleaned. She is now 80 years old, and she still is the maid for her sons, making their beds, cooking their meals, mopping their floors.

My ex- husband was always abusive but I didn't notice what was happening to me, it seemed hat he always had some excuse, and always blamed me. He was arrested in 2004.

Since 2004 he has not hired child care for our 3 children as he didn't want to spend the money. The children, mostly the girls, were left alone in parking lots in his car when he shopped or when my son had athletic activities. He took the keys with him, so in the summer the car would be unbearably hot, in the winter, very cold.

In December of 2006 he took the kids on a skiing vacation and left them alone. My children don't know how to ski. Alexandra then 8 mistakenly got on the wrong ski lift, one that left her atop of a black diamond ski slope. It was a slope for advanced skiers. She managed to make her way down without getting seriously hurt thank-goodness, but when she fell her father skied by and called her a cry-baby. He refused to help her get up.

During an outing in West Virginia in the summer of 2009 she was in a canoe with him; she was in the front and he was behind. She made some benign remark, but the father interpreted it as a sign of disrespect, and he beat her over the head with the paddle. She told me that it was "okay" because she was wearing a helmet. I told this to the court and the court ignored it.

In July of 2009 there was to be a hearing in Fairfax County Circuit Court. For the first time in 6 years of litigation, I was ill and could not appear in court. I called judges chambers in advance to let them know. The father appeared in court with a paid "expert witness" by the name of Guy Van Syckle who testified that I didn’t show up because I was mentally ill. My medical condition is well documented at Fairfax Inova Hospital, and my physical illness was real. As I didn’t have anybody in court that day to represent me, the court ordered that deputies come to my home to forcibly remove my children. All because I was sick one day out of 6 years.

I was in bed when the deputies came, and devastated when they took my children and searched my home.

The father put the two girls with his mother, who speaks broken English and does not drive. My son was put with his friends in Bethesda, and the father went to New York City. My home was empty, my children gone. I scrambled furiously to find a forensic psychologist to testify, and the next week I got my custody restored, but not before the children and I had been put thru Hell.

This is just a small part of this case, but do you have any advice?

Thank-you.

3.19.10

"Confront Your Judge"
Click on seal to learn how

ATTEND JUDICIAL INTERVIEWS
whether your offending judge is up for reappointment or not.

[This post was first published on 22 March 2010]

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“…we note that there is a fair amount of controversy in the field regarding the conclusion that more mothers alienate than fathers, and wish to emphasize that in many cases we personally have seen, it is the father who alienates and the mother who is the target.”

[SOURCE: http://www.pace411.com/newsletter9.html]
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